That Kind of Neighbor

I was sitting at my kitchen table yesterday making balloon cut-outs for Hubbie's (It's his birthday today and I didn't have a car (it's in the shop) to go buy balloons) we were going to decorate them and tape them all over the living room. I was sitting in my kitchen, because it was clean. I'm quite proud of that fact. It's been clean and my dishes done for 3 whole days now. Big Deal in my house.

I was listening to my children play in the backyard and thinking "wouldn't it be funny if my neighbor called CPS on me??" She's that kind of neighbor. First off, they were out there for hours, cause it was a beautiful day. From where I was sitting I saw two brothers playing their own version of football. It involves a baseball bat, a hockey net, and a lot of tackling. They would laugh, then cry, laugh some more, then someone would scream, the other would cry, then they'd laugh. I'm sure a punch or two was thrown. They are brothers. They are best friends and worst enemies.

I can just see the image my neighbor must be dreaming up though: Me, passed out drunk on the couch, letting my children fend for themselves for hours, probably locked outside. And what violent children they are at that! I can only conclude that she has this opinion of us, because she calls the city on us for any reason she can: They have a camper sitting in their drive way for exactly 12 hours; VIOLATION. Their weeds are more than 6 inches tall; VIOLATION. Barking dog; VIOLATION. You get the picture. My screaming, crying children were probably driving her crazy!

My thoughts went back to CPS being called on me. I thought well at least my house is clean so I can defend myself as a good mom. Then I turned around. Oh... yeah. The living room. Not So Clean. Squirt dumped out every Lego we own and added a bunch of little animal figurines. He spilled 2 glasses of milk and 1 glass of juice over the course of the day. I cleaned them up, but there was a sticky mess. There were candy wrappers everywhere, b/c Dad was kind enough to bring home a bag of chocolates for them. And Squirt dumped out a bag of Ritz crackers on the floor. Because "doggy hungry" then he proceeded to step on them because "doggy need small pieces." Add to that the constant layer of sand we have in our living room (that sand box was a bad idea) and I had a trash pit on my hands. It's not like I could defend myself and say "oh, the kids got a few toys out." No, this was disgusting. I don't think CPS would be too impressed now by my sparkling kitchen counter.

I immediately dropped everything to clean. The thought was enough to jump start me into action. Now I'm prepared to take on CPS when my neighbor eventually calls them on me. Cause she will. She's that kind of neighbor!