A New Adventure

Now that we've almost conquered this potty training thing (almost, almost, almost....blah!) we've moved on to the new phase that is: STANDING TO PEE.

Now, I'd just as soon let him sit forever, but his big brother stands and it's so fun and so "Big Boy". This conversation occurs daily:
Me: Do you have to go potty?
Him: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Me: Come on, let's go
Him: Can I stand up?
Me: Fine, yes
Him: Alright.

This is an area I have no expertiese in, obviously, so Little Man tried to teach him, and then we called in reinforcements (DAD) who was like "what am I supposed to do? hold it for him?" Well I don't know, I've never done this before.

With Little Man he just came home from pre-school and announced "Hayden told me that girls sit to pee and that I should stand up and he showed me how." I was slightly disturbed about them being in the bathroom together, but well, it taught him how, so I let it go.

A few days ago I was helping him, and he just let go mid- stream and HIT THE WALL, with some force, that's a couple feet at least. He'll also try to talk to me, so my shower curtain (my white shower curtain) is yellow.

But today, I went in their bathroom (which I just never really go in, but apparently should) and it smelled like pee, I thought maybe a diaper had been left in the garbage (we still need them at night) but there wasn't one, so with some further investigation on my hands and knees I realized that the floor around the toilet was YELLOW, and crusty and gross and probably crawling in germs. This was more than a simple mopping can handle, it required some scrubbing.

I feel like showering just thinking about it.

As a mother, I try to teach my children the concept of "Stranger Danger" and Little Man just thinks I'm full of crap. Despite my best efforts the "bag of candy" or "hey I lost my dog" trick would snag my boys hook, line and sinker. Little Man often says things like: "Oh, I'll just tell them I already have a mom" or "If someone tries to take me I'll just run, cause I am the fastest runner ever mom" or my personal favorite "I'll just tell them to take my little brother instead."

But today he comes home to tell me that Jianna said (the all-knowing, wiser than mom, 6 year old he sits next to in class) that if someone tries to take you it's called "Kid-napping" and they don't even let you say goodbye to your mom and they will feed you poison! Gasp!

Well that did it. He's a believer now. And hats off to Jianna's mom, she was way more creative and convincing than me!

So I finished taking all our names out and all the more personal stuff. I didn't really find anything on here that I would consider bad except way back when there was a video of Little Man showing how smart he is and he says our phone number, address and his full name. Should've had him throw in his Social Security Number while we were at it!

I'm such a moron! I can't believe I put that on here. I'm just asking for a stalker.

Anyway, help me out and if you happen to find anything else I missed just let me know!

I've seen alot of stuff lately about people going private and all that. And, well I just don't want to do that. So, be patient with me while I de-personalize my blog. I'm just going to give my kids little nicknames and not use so much personal info on here.

Meet the "New" Dora

This is Dora.

She is fun, and sweet, and teaches my kids more spanish than I learned in 2 years of High School spanish class. She has a side kick Boots the Monkey. She also has a backpack that has any thing you need. We're talking from a ladder, to a band-aid. If you need it Backpack has it. Safely in a side pocket of Backpack resides Map. Map can get you anywhere you want go. Forget GPS. Map does not get you lost.

But most importantly Squirt is undeniably and unquestionably in love with her. He watches Dora in the morning when he wakes up, he watches Dora when he's sad, or sick, or tired. He just loves loves loves Dora. And Boots the Monkey.

But all good things must come to an end. See Dora is a 7 year old girl. And she has been for 10 years now. So meet the New Dora. "They" are calling her tween Dora.



This is a quote I found online "While Dora may appear to be all glammed up, she hasn’t lost her sense of wonder, adventure or ability to sell products. In fact, they say she “will expand into the world of solving mysteries that have overt and relatable pro-social themes — like volunteerism, water conservation, or planting trees to help the environment.” Don't you like that little line "ability to sell products" because that's really what it's all about. I heard she will also drop Boots the Monkey and Backpack.

But see the problem is: This is not Dora. This is not my son's one and only true love. This is an impostor. How annoying!

Sports Induced Deafness

It's a real problem. In my house anyway. My Hubbie honestly feels that he can not be held responsible for forgetting something if I told him while he was watching a sporting event.

See the other night I was going to make Sweet & Sour shrimp. But I forgot the pineapple, which is important, without that it's just sour shrimp. So I asked Hubbie to go for me. And then I said "Oh, go to Bashas, because then you can take back the redbox DVD to Walgreens" (Walgreens is across the street from Bashas). I then decided "no, i'll just make cheeseburgers, we can have the shrimp tomorrow, but I'll still need you to take back the redbox" fine by him, he was watching basketball at the time and he didn't want to get up anyways.

Fast-forward a couple of hours, Hubbie is leaving to go take back the DVD. I'm assuring him that it is very simple to return the DVD (he's never done redbox) and he leaves. He comes back 30 minutes later and says "Why did you send me to Bashas? I wandered the store for like 20 minutes looking for the redbox thing. Then I remembered you said something about Walgreens so I went there and found the redbox, which I assume is where you meant for me to go, but why did you send me to Bashas??"

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!

The next morning I realized I had a missed call from him from 8pm the night before. I didn't even remember him leaving the house, but he said. "Oh, that's when I was calling, wanting to know what the hell I was doing at Bashas"

It was too funny, and we both had a good laugh. At least he knows it's a problem and will admit it. He's just not willing to do what he has to do to stop it: CANCEL ESPN.

I suppose I knew this day would come...

because his Dad is addicted to sports after all:

This morning when Little Man crawled in my bed I asked him if he wanted to watch TV, here is the conversation that followed:

Me: I think Diego is on if you want.
LM: No thanks, can you please turn on Sports Center.

Please help me!

Squirt loves to color but ONLY with markers. The problem is though, that once board with the paper he's coloring, markers can do alot more damage. He got in big trouble one day for coloring on the wall and floor, so now he just sticks with his body.

He also has discovered that running around "free as a bird" if you will, is alot more fun than running around with clothes on. And now that he wears underware, it's alot easier to take off than a diaper, so I see his little bumm alot more than I used too.

Now lets combine the two. He stripped today, while coloring. He is now pink. All of him. And I mean ALL OF HIM.

Dad is going to be thrilled.

That Kind of Neighbor

I was sitting at my kitchen table yesterday making balloon cut-outs for Hubbie's (It's his birthday today and I didn't have a car (it's in the shop) to go buy balloons) we were going to decorate them and tape them all over the living room. I was sitting in my kitchen, because it was clean. I'm quite proud of that fact. It's been clean and my dishes done for 3 whole days now. Big Deal in my house.

I was listening to my children play in the backyard and thinking "wouldn't it be funny if my neighbor called CPS on me??" She's that kind of neighbor. First off, they were out there for hours, cause it was a beautiful day. From where I was sitting I saw two brothers playing their own version of football. It involves a baseball bat, a hockey net, and a lot of tackling. They would laugh, then cry, laugh some more, then someone would scream, the other would cry, then they'd laugh. I'm sure a punch or two was thrown. They are brothers. They are best friends and worst enemies.

I can just see the image my neighbor must be dreaming up though: Me, passed out drunk on the couch, letting my children fend for themselves for hours, probably locked outside. And what violent children they are at that! I can only conclude that she has this opinion of us, because she calls the city on us for any reason she can: They have a camper sitting in their drive way for exactly 12 hours; VIOLATION. Their weeds are more than 6 inches tall; VIOLATION. Barking dog; VIOLATION. You get the picture. My screaming, crying children were probably driving her crazy!

My thoughts went back to CPS being called on me. I thought well at least my house is clean so I can defend myself as a good mom. Then I turned around. Oh... yeah. The living room. Not So Clean. Squirt dumped out every Lego we own and added a bunch of little animal figurines. He spilled 2 glasses of milk and 1 glass of juice over the course of the day. I cleaned them up, but there was a sticky mess. There were candy wrappers everywhere, b/c Dad was kind enough to bring home a bag of chocolates for them. And Squirt dumped out a bag of Ritz crackers on the floor. Because "doggy hungry" then he proceeded to step on them because "doggy need small pieces." Add to that the constant layer of sand we have in our living room (that sand box was a bad idea) and I had a trash pit on my hands. It's not like I could defend myself and say "oh, the kids got a few toys out." No, this was disgusting. I don't think CPS would be too impressed now by my sparkling kitchen counter.

I immediately dropped everything to clean. The thought was enough to jump start me into action. Now I'm prepared to take on CPS when my neighbor eventually calls them on me. Cause she will. She's that kind of neighbor!

You just can't fix stupid.

I work for a carpet cleaning company. We don't have the highest of quality employees. We try our hardest, and they are all background checked. But we just don't get people with college degrees or those who are hard workers & clean cut, begging to clean carpets. It's a fact of life. And customers just don't understand this. Over my 7 years of working here, I have heard every excuse in the book. Or so I'd thought.



Enter into the picture our newest employee Gregg. Over the past few months of his employment he has had to pick up people at the airport more times than I can count. Wow, your family and friends sure are world travelers. But no big deal, really though, pick a new excuse please. I'm tired of that one. But see last week I over heard him saying he had to pick someone up at the airport at 7pm. Later I asked him to take a 12pm job, he'd be done by 3, home by 4. He tells me he has to pick up someone from the airport at 4 and so he can't do the job. I said really? I heard you tell someone else the flight landed at 7. "Oh, yeah... um... I meant 7 eastern time" Wow, I mean I always tell time in Eastern time, I just didn't know anyone else did. Moron!

He also, one day, was in the middle of a room cleaning and the machine was acting up and not working right. He says to the lead tech (he's still just a "helper") "Well, should we pack it up, this just isn't working" Okay, really? The machine is not working so you're just going to go home for the day. If that's not customer service, I don't know what is!

But his latest one takes the cake for the best excuse ever. He was overheard on a Thursday afternoon, complaining and saying he just didn't feel like coming in tomorrow. Surprise Surprise when Friday morning he calls in at 5am, leaving a message sounding all scratchy and sick. Well then Monday rolls around (his regular day off) and he calls saying that he went to the doctor and has Internal Bleeding, and he's going to need 8 days off. Wow, says my co-worker, that's a lot of time off. But okay. She schedules him 8 days off. He calls 6 hours later wondering what time he works tomorrow. Um... Greg. You said you need 8 days off. Oh, well that was from Friday, when I went to the doctor. Um... Greg. Friday was 3 days ago. OOOHHH... Yeah, that one just back fired on him.

And then he had the nerve to complain about his check.

I quit.