My Horiscope...

today said :
"...During the next few weeks take full advantage of any offers of help... One reason you are finding life awkward is because you are carrying too much weight...."

Ha Ha Ha!!! They got that right!

Birds

I have this stupid fear of birds. It's completely irrational and unfounded.

When I was about 10, I was at a friends house and she really wanted me to hold her bird. I really didn't want too. When I had my back turned she put the bird on my shoulder. I felt something on my shoulder and turned my head to find myself nose to nose with the dreaded bird. I screamed and threw my shoulder. The bird hit the wall and I hit the door. That was my first "encounter" with a bird. (Don't worry, the bird lived, I think I just stunned it a little bit)

A couple of years later I was babysitting for a lady. When I walked in the door, a bird flew threw the room. I tried to maintain my composure as she said "I let the bird out to fly around a little. She'll go back in her cage when she's ready and you can just close the door when she does." I suddenly became very interested in the kids toys. In their rooms. With the door closed. I'd send the 4 year old out every now and again to check if the bird was in it's cage. I did not come out until it was.

A few years ago we were at Sea World. I was leaning over the dolphin encounter with a little fishy in hand trying to get them to come to me. Out of nowhere a Sea Gull flies at me, hits me in the face with it's wing and steals the fish out of my hand. It sure is a good thing Hubbie was holding a very small Little Man, cause I probably would have dropped him in the water when I screamed!

I really could go on and on. It's totally stupid, but what is annoying is that people think I need to be cured of this fear. Everywhere I go people say "Oh that is just silly, here hold my bird" I bolt for the door and don't come back until they know I mean business (ask Hubbie's grandma, she KNOWS I'm serious)

So last night I had a dream. I was sitting in a room talking with a designer. We were prepping for some kind of room makeover show. (Don't really know what that was all about!) I keep hearing this really weird noise and when I ask the home owner what that noise is she says "Oh, that's fluffy. Fluffy come here" Out of another room flies a very large bird, like a red Macaw type bird. I get up and go sit behind a chair with a pillow over my head. (My fear kicks in quickly, and I usually don't care how stupid I look) At this point in my dream my brother Bryce shows up and says "Ha Ha, don't mind her, she's deathly afraid of birds." Like they always do, the owner says "Oh that is so silly she wouldn't hurt a fly" and proceeds to put the bird on my back (cause I'm hunched over, still with a pillow over my head) it crawls up my back to my head and even through the pillow I can feel it's little claws digging into my head. Everyone is laughing, I'm holding my breath... And at that point I wake up nearly hyper-ventilating. And then I started crying. Even though it was totally a dream and I realized that, it was so real that I layed there crying like a baby. Even now I'm shuddering as I write this.

Do you think I need counseling?

Do You Have Boops?

While driving down the road the other day we passed a car dealership that had a huge blow-up gorilla our front. I don't know about you but I just really want to buy a car when I see one of those. Don't you??

Anyways... Little Man says "Ha Ha, That gorilla has boobs **snicker snicker**" in only a way that a 6 year old can. I just hung my head. And tried not to laugh, because I don't want to encourage the over-usage of the word "boobs" around my house. But Squirt wasn't finished: "He He, it has boops... ha ha boops... what are boops mommy?"

I gave Little Man a death stare in the rear view mirror and he changed the subject. He's smarter than I give him credit for... sometimes...

I stand corrected...

Remember when I was ranting in this post about how they would change dear and beloved "Dora the Explorer?" Well, Squirt was playing a game on NickJr and found the New Dora. Her and her friends are called the "Explorer Girls" and Squirt quickly proclaimed: "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom... Look, it's Dora. She's Bewtiful!" Now all he wants to play is Explorer Girls.

So I stand corrected. My Baby Boy is in LOVE!

Conference...

This weekend was conference.
Saturday I had to work. Didn't hear a word of it, but I did record it with some really good intentions.
This is what our sunday was like:
AM session, I let my boys go outside to play, I had a hose slowing running to water my bushes at the same time. I soon realized they were playing in it. Little Man got his school shoes all muddy and messy. I WAS PISSED. So I had to go out and soak them with water, getting myself all muddy and messy. I WAS MORE PISSED and then I stepped on a stick and got it stuck IN MY TOE, so I was covered in blood and mud. I WAS SCREAMING AND CUSSING I WAS SO PISSED.
So let's hope the PM session goes better:
It didn't start off well, when I had to turn off their movie to turn on the session and Squirt replied "Oh Mom, don't tuwn on the Pwophet again!"
After I'd asked for the millionth time for them to just quiet down a little, I finally snapped and just screamed it. Little Man got all full of attitude and told me to be quiet. (Imagine the hands on hips, face full of defiance, teenager look.) I promptly told him to go to his room. Which he did: he slammed his door, started throwing stuff and kicking the wall and then turned his music (his fisher-price "Animal Songs" music) on full blast just to piss me off. When I said in my last post that I realized I'd have teenage boys soon, I didn't think it'd be quiet this soon.

How was your conference weekend? Sure hope you got more out of it then me.

I have 3 brothers. (Whom, I love!)

I am the only girl.

I've always wanted a sister. I've always wanted someone to do hair with and play dress up with. I liked to play with dolls and all that, but usually I was out playing with my brothers and the other neighborhood boys, because I was surrounded by those too.

It was just me and my mom to add a little bit of femininity to our house. We had fun, we'd have our girl nights when the boys went to Father-N-Son outings and stuff like that.

Then I went off to college and deserted her. (So sorry about that Mom, by the way!)

Then I got married, and had to, again, live with a boy. We even got a boy dog. Then I had a baby boy, and then another. We did eventually get a girl dog, but then she went and deserted me (Well, she did have cancer, so I've forgiven her). When I got pregnant this go around I didn't even want to entertain the thought that this baby would be a girl. I didn't want to get my hopes up. I didn't want to dream about dressing a sweet little baby is pink and purple. I wouldn't even let myself go there.

A couple of months ago, I found this blog called "Boys R Us" Have you ever read her? She is hilarious! She has 7 boys!! So reading her blog I can relate on a very small scale. I mean sometimes my 2 boys feel like 7, ya know? Anyway, I was reading this entry yesterday. It's about living with teenage boys. I laughed so hard I literally started crying. I mean tears running down my face. At first I was crying because it was just so funny. Then I was crying because I realized that in just a few short years I will have teenage boys and that insanity will be my life. And then I sat there and bawled like a baby because I realized I was having a girl. I would get to do hair and make pretty clothes and do fun things on Father-N-Son nights. I know it's not gonna be all rosy. I have been informed I had my fair share of attitude and drama. But at that moment I was so over whelmed with gratitude and happiness!

My dear hubbie will be so glad when this "adventure" is over. My hormones are CRAZY!